Obligatory "ignore this space" : https://sacoronavirus.co.za

We're living in the Unix Epoch: how you divide time is up to you. Spiders might also have trouble digesting all the numbers, were we to present them with the plain facts; and though nocturnal it may interest them to know when midnight is. Thus we may begin to think of coming to a sensible arrangement without having to first refer to the Equality of Cultures.

Whatever a culture is, we know that it must be treated as equal to something else that is called a culture after it has been identified that the two things are not one and the same.

Furry marble.

There are those who like to look at the world as from a distance. Time, then, is a simple matter of holding the sun. Level-headed people might tell us to call the stars, reference points, but it is known that noses get in the way of our appreciation of the stars, as we grow.

You shouldn't think to much: that's advice I share freely.

Dividing the plain fact by the number of seconds in the day, we come--and my heart misses a beat when I think of how leap seconds might've borked this calculation were others at the helm--to the number of days since the first of January, nineteen seventy. Leaving the little ones to look at the remainder, we come to the sinking realization that the number of days in the life of a spider--or other creatures--cannot by any means be called overcountable by creatures that might think they only lack the limbs of a man. Propping up the sinking feeling is all I can do, for I have enough eyes to see the consequence of not doing so.

But now we need to look at time zone, and it's clear that the Consortium that decided where dates are born had a sense of humour. The English wit, in the days before abusive colonizers started clamouring to be called English, was world renowned; which had the effect of putting England on the map. As a sample of what people laughed at in those days, such a wit replied, to the question of the whether he had ever fallen in love, 'no, but I stepped in it once.' The mountains of gold, therefore, provided the most convenient reference for the middle of the day. In typical English fashion, the nearest place was chosen that couldn't say its own name properly.

Sensible people know that the best thing to ameliorate the lust for gold in the heart of a man is to find him a treasurer. Not one that gets him to doubt his family ties, obviously. Nor one that gets him to form a puddle whenever he thinks of the term, creature comforts.

But now we must share our pang. For the number sequence thus described, which is an overlapping sequence when we add time zone, will last as long as civilization does.

19004

••
Feedback