Obligatory "ignore this space" : https://sacoronavirus.co.za

Get a hobby!

I never needed this said to me as a child. As far as I recall my mother only made suggestions to me about things to do when as an adult I was trying to achieve the impossible with hobbies I had become obsessive about, which had something to do with the phrase, 'lose yourself in your job.'

It also had something to do with achieving what others had formerly said was impossible. In other words, balancing a work and home life is something a bachelor gets wrong, almost every time.

To some people, shopping is a hobby. Going places where we meet people with common interests is then taken care of automatically. When we do this there is naturally some amount of rivalry. Men who take to shopping as a hobby suffer in the comparison because they don't have, for instance, a handbag to show off. Backpacks suit us, who are used to walking with our hands in our pockets, or behind us, where a handbag would only show our deficiencies in the matter of grace.

A handbag is certainly the most important thing in the shopping experience, for if we keep our money in our pockets we have already missed an opportunity for making a purchase. Though unfortunately by no means even half as important as a handbag, because shopping centers are designed for the smallest shopper to be able to carry off the biggest appliance while walking as gracefully as ever, having a boyfriend or a husband to take along puts a shopper into a different league.

I tried to at least enjoy the experience that shopping centers give us, but I couldn't help saying that brick and mortar is hardly to be called technology. And it came about that shopping centers couldn't do without the word.

On the matter of technological progress, some seem to think that this comes about by an anthropod saying to another in their pay, 'don't let it happen again.'

If their employee, in spite or because of such cajolery, finds a way to fix things that no-one has yet reported broken, in a dozen years or two, said employee might point to a project that was in effect a hobby, that got taken away from the hobbyists, some of whom had to accept a job as a mere employee working on that project, while being told what someone who isn't a Eunuch does.

My humble apologies, I let it happen again.

It's unlikely to be believed that anyone could think that going to hell and back could become a hobby. In fact, it would seem the usefulness of this phrase to a self-declared agnostic would only be in terms of activities that cannot become hobbies.

But we see an endless cycle, in the historic record, of mothers choosing not to breastfeed their children, and then getting unwed men to write volumes on how important it is for mothers to obey the dictates of nature, when their daughters reverse the decision.

The idea of hell, to a GNU-Gnostic, is a matter of having a superlative case: we then need to look at error values and error factors.

Revolution possibly comes closer to being an error value distant, rather than an error factor, to hell.

The other thing that is often suggested as being the origin of the word hell is war. But war, it seems, starts at a known error factor away; for man must be driven to distraction before being willing to inflict pain. In time, warriors may make war a competition as to who is the most chivalrous. Then we think we must call war a hobby.

But, like parents squabbling over household expenditures, the fallout of such a war of posturing is felt all round.

If we have world enough and time, my dear, the calculation's mine.

Making webpages became a hobby of mine as soon as we 'got the internet', which certainly came with some guidance as to how to setup a webpage, when we got the termination equipment and point of presence provider.

I didn't have anyone to dedicate my website to: we had been involved in the technicalities of what defines a relationship from before those of us with ears knew why an old teacher would tell us that the principle behind family planning is waiting for mating.

'Waiting? That's the easy part. The difficult part is getting a girlfriend.'

Those of you with sons have a way of verifying that what is quoted here is exactly what a boy will say in response, who hasn't been goaded into competing for a girl who chooses her next by asking a calculating boy to make an app showing a random number.

With my various hobbies, more or less obsessive, Dad once told me I aught to get a girlfriend. But we had also been told of this thing called common interests. Which, it seems, no lasting marriage can be started without; nor last if that is all it is founded on.

One of my hobbies is the contemplation of marriage. It doesn't seem that anything meaningful can be done by a man who is trying to win a woman with a hobby of his. But now I'm flipping a coin which reminds me of what comes of men who refuse to comply with the demands of the state in terms of children taken away from him, which preclude him making any demands of the receiver of his money.

Which example of a marriage and a divorce were fresh in my mind when I first started a website; which was at a time I began to think my features were awkward for being in between girlish and manly. A dozen years later I was being told that the big deal was about the whether the father in question loved the mother.

Before the grate, depicted on the one side of this coin, come the scales of justice. Before I get irate, which seems that it has been necessary for me to do as I contemplate various suggestions made to me, I simply state here that the contemplation of heads of state with reference to virginity had itself been divorced from the contemplation of a virgin woman and an innocent man by omitting to highlight the natural laws of succession.

And if an English girl, any time between now and wherever you feel like putting the then, says to an English boy that she's a virgin, his only response will be, 'yeah, so's my mother.'

••
Feedback