Obligatory "ignore this space" : https://sacoronavirus.co.za

Some people's behaviour absolutely fucking beggars belief.

For instance, some men, who know that commonality of feeling is what marriage is about, though they wish it wasn't, find that as a husband they're fit for little more than taking long baths and short showers. Such men might take some money they ferreted away and buy themselves a motorbike. Such a man has every reason to leave the house to his wife on the weekends.

The behaviour of these layabouts beggars belief.

Were such a man to find that not one, and not two is enough, then we refer to the introductory sentence.

Going to show off his bike at a nightclub, it is to be expected that young ladies with sense will tell him that they don't like motorbikes; as a gentle way of reminding him about his wife. Or perhaps there was another reason that whenever I met a girl at a club she either looked at me smugly, as if having proven that innocence doesn't pay, or told me straight out that I looked like I was already married. Having received something of a veiled threat from a man at such a nightclub, to the effect that I better not upset the apple cart, I do believe I might just as well start from the top down, by holding such a specimen to the light.

Thus I tell those ladies who told me they hated motorbikes because their dad owned one, who no doubt now sit in pta meetings deciding the future of the country, that, except that I would've hurt the feelings of some for avoiding theirs, I made a big fucking mistake by not choosing a country at random and emigrating, once I had graduated.

We needn't compare Johannesburg to Durban and look for blame: they're both extinct.

Sitting therefore in Russia with my wife--I'm sure I would've met one while learning Cyrillic--I might well compare the history of her country to that of mine.

Back to the meaning of Wolf and Man; back to the meaning of life.

It must be understood that wolves on leashes still walk amongst us. For the most part, these men were incapable of abstract thought. Their instincts meant that they didn't have to be particularly strong.

We then met people who were trying to have as much fun as they could before they became old. Sending a colleague, thus confused, a poem turned into a song suggesting that she's got the wrong end of the stick, I was subsequently encouraged to believe she was out of my league. Proof is that right up until lockdown, twelve years since we had seen her, things she had said were referred to in my presence. Things about other men.

On this count, the men I was supposed to see as being in the same boat as me, were certainly not on an equal footing with me. The colleague closest to my age joined just as this English girl left.

By this time I was far from innocent, and I shan't be playing the justification game. Commitments of mine had been forgotten about.

What I couldn't forget was that, after spending much time alone, I discovered that the only ill feelings for my school years were those which people gave to me by telling me that I aught to have ill feelings for my school years.

I did not wish to be a man incapable of abstract thought; not if this decision meant that I'd have to watch such a man pleasing a woman who gave me the most ill feelings about school for suggesting that misbehaviour begins there.

And bringing me to think practically how cultural destruction might occur. Such as, for instance, churches teaching children about sin, without which instruction they wouldn't feel that they're doing something naughty with other children at school. Thus the school and the church become parts of an engine of flesh.

Alternatively, if a girl and boy--young as you like--are sitting together, who are allowed to talk about the truth of where children come from, I have proved to myself is possible, such that they remind each other to do what their parents insist they must do with their lives, before thinking about a marriage bed.

Which is to say, my mother sought out the most out-of-the-way churches, as all she could do in her bid to bring me amongst Christian girls with her values.

But I don't have evidence for what I have proved. Nor can I hope for it until all those that my mother loves are willing to listen to honest people telling their story without interjecting their opinions.

Thus you may go on thinking that innocence doesn't pay.