Obligatory "ignore this space" : https://sacoronavirus.co.za

Will I ever stop? Yo! I don't know!

I'm fortunate because I don't have a son to raise, they say. But raising a child with my same abilities, I would think, involves telling him not to copy my bad habits. Not to take credit from where it's due, I believe my dad and I worked as a team on more problems than one. The biggest problem, however, has been that of how to be ourselves amongst people who are living on a planet that has an orbit that is just coincidental with twelve names and the numbers from one to thirty-one.

And don't forget, children, every fourth year the one that the big kids pinched from gets a podium, and people born on that day get half of a joke that was pint-sized to start with.

A boy coming to the age when the tv generation insists that every good father tells his son certain things, is likely to be flumoxed when all he gets is the advice not to make a girl pregnant, and not to think contraception isn't its own worst enemy.

I must force my powers of recollection to put myself into my own shoes, for what I thought was obviously easy is of a kind with the ability to recollect. In so doing ek is seker dat die mense sal kwaad geraak wie vir ons se dat of ons nie soos hulle wat gebore is met 'n taal kan praat moet ons nie sal probeer nie. Ken julle die verskil tussen 'n moeder en a dominatries?

Laat ek verduidelik in my moeder taal: without someone congratulating us for taking instructions that we deem to be reasonable, or carrying out our duties after expressing our disapprobation in letters that are strongly worded but respectful, when we receive instructions that don't sit with us, we're simply selling our dignity for a pile of gold. Thus it's not a case of being attracted to the idea of having someone make decisions for us. But the power of decision is inseparable from the power of discernment.

'To the extreme, I rock the mike like a vandal.'

How do people react when they realize they're being satirized?

The misfits I was friends with, who memorized dumb white guy lyrics with me, wandered away from me in secondary school. Years after school I heard that one of them died in a motorbike accident: in those days cattle were being driven into town from the outlying semi-rural areas. The areas are no longer semi-rural: the people therein have gone from having a meagre easy life to having just a plain easy life. Still, anti-racism is the purest form of judgmentalism; and anti-judgmentalism tends to push discernment into someone else's dictionary.

Yo! Have I solved it?